You Could Work For Ghostface Killah
By Michelle McGlynn (CHARTattack)
Are you a student who is beginning to crack under the pressure of the end of semester crunch? Do you desperately need summer employment but have no time to seek it out? Have you fantasized about being the lackey for a hip hop mogul?
In this day and age, a single tweet could be the answer to your prayers.
A few days ago, Wu-Tang Clan's Ghostface Killah made a very public call-out that he was looking for interns to join his entourage. Ghostface was then (the search has since been "concluded," according to a tweet from yesterday) in the market for "Writers, Marketing, Photographers, Social Networking, Designers!", so those who possessed any of the above skills, were encouraged to CV to firstname.lastname@example.org (tell him you saw it here).
This got us thinking. What kind of menial tasks would Ghostface assign to his staff outside of the mandatory coffee-fetching? And what would be the proper way to address your new boss? Dennis Coles? Tony Starks? Mr. Killah? Fishscale? The Great Ghostdini?
Those who applied should ask themselves if they're comfortable handling these hypothetical assignments that may or may not be part of the job description:
Ghostface Killah has type 1 diabetes, and being the busy guy he is, probably doesn't have time to administer his own medicine. You would be expected to stick him with a needle in his most fleshy area. You should also carry a juice box on your person at all times in case his blood sugar were to drop at an inopportune moment.
There's a huge emphasis on style over at Camp Killah and the man is known for his affinity for bathrobes, Clarks Wallabees and garish jewellery. Your responsibility would be to arrange Ghostface's accessories in order by size from big (avenging eagle braclet) to biggest (dinner plate medallions).
After allegedly breaking Mase's jaw and allegedly throwing 50 Cent down a flight of stairs, Ghostface doesn't really need any more bad press under his belt. Should you choose to accept this internship, your goal would be to pacify this badass mofo, and that can usually be done with a little Ice Cream and Nutmeg.