This Wu-Tang Clan Fan Wrote an Epic 70-Page Script About Stealing 'Once Upon a Time in Shaolin' From Martin Shkreli
A super-dedicated fan of the Wu-Tang Clan named Jordan VanDina penned an epic, 70-page script about stealing the group's new album Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. As you may have heard, the one-of-a-kind album was finished some time ago, and was recently sold tonotorious douchebag/AIDS drug price-hiker Martin Shkreli for a cool $2 million. The contract stipulates that the album cannot be released to the public for 88 years, meaning almost nobody alive today will live to hear it.
VanDina, not content to let the Wu's work waste away in the clutches of America's most hated CEO, decided to write a ridiculous and hilarious script in which the album (billed as the last good music ever recorded) is needed to save the world from the two-term presidency of Donald Trump. Along with Wu-Tang members, Shkreli, and the Donald himself, the script also includes appearances by Kim Jung-Un, Michael Jordan, and Justin Bieber. As if this weren't awesome enough, the whole thing is narrated by none other than Morgan Freeman. While we're all out here hoping that this will happen in real life (or at least that the script gets a movie deal), you can read VanDina's work in its entirety by downloading here or reading here.